Frustrated Writer

So.... I suck at blogging regularly... we've all come to know this about me....

Here's a two-and-a-half-month roundup.

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On Veteran's Day weekend, Chris and I flew out to Austin, Texas, to see Andy (Chris's best bud and former business partner) and Heather (Andy's other half). Immediately after we landed, they took us to the Alamo Drafthouse theater to eat fried pickles, drink beer and watch the Pancake Theatre treatment of the movie Roadhouse, starring Patrick Swayze. It was like a live version of Mystery Science Theatre 3000, the theater hiring professional comedians to bust on the movie from start to finish. With the time change and the fact that the theater was so comfortable, I can't say I was awake from the entire adventure -- after all, we arrived home around 4am Austin time -- but it was awesome and a fabulous introduction to the city.

We ate tacos for just about every meal, saw the bat bridge, hit the Dr. Pepper museum in Waco (and blew a lot of money in the gift store), did karaoke at an Asian-style karaoke bar where you rent private rooms (and Andy held the high score for the night while I secured the lowest score), gorged on cupcakes sold from an Airstream trailer, bought cowgirl boots, hit Waterloo Records, splurged at the flagship Whole Foods Market, enjoyed a meal at the Chuy's where Barbara & Jenna Bush were busted for underage drinking, and had so much more fun than could possibly be contained in a few measly paragraphs. If it weren't for the fact that Austin averages about ten billion degrees fahrenheit for months on end every single summer, I think Chris and I would both gladly move there in a heartbeat -- not just to be closer to Andy and Heather, who totally rock & we're totally in love with, but also because Austin is such a wonderful town. Charlotte... it has absolutely no edge... so sad. It's all the more obvious when you visit a city like that. Austin is now on my list of favorite cities in the world. And Andy and Heather have to be some of the greatest hosts on the planet.

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The following week, I hung out with a new girlfriend (Jocelyn); then had a girl's night dinner with Megan, Starla, Samantha and a gaggle of other gals. That Thursday, I traveled to Asheville solo to hit the Orange Peel, where I attended a benefit for the Moog Foundation. The benefit was well-attended. I didn't know a soul in there, but had a great time anyway -- attendees could get their hands on several Moog-made synthesizers, theremins and other electronic instruments. It was heaven... I slapped on a pair of headphones and spent about 30 minutes trying to push every single button on one of the keyboards, giddy with glee. The theremin was such a tremendous challenge. I definitely lack the natural grace required -- my spazzy movements create a spazzy sound. I suppose it was Pamelia Kurstin who I saw play theremin in the Moog documentary? Anyway, all the more power and respect to her than I gave even before I tried the instrument. It's friggin hard. And it's unbelievably cool that Asheville has this resource.

During the event, there was a great deejay who was able to mix electronica on the fly. He's been asked to do sets in several places around the Southeast. I tried to talk to him a bit after his show -- maybe get a freelance article out of it if I knew more? -- but one of his friends kept interfering. I was wearing one of my t-shirt from Taiwan under a velvet jacket. The shirt has images of cameras all over it and some crazy, mis-interpreted language. The friend wanted to point out that I was **wearing** cameras and he **had** a camera, and... wait wait wait... then wanted to show me lots and lots of poorly lit, blurry photos. So -- not a productive evening, but fun nevertheless.

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The following week was Thanksgiving, and it was hard to believe the holiday was already upon us. I talked Megan into going to an interfaith church service with me on the Tuesday before the holiday. There is a group in Charlotte that seeks to build religious tolerance and social action by bringing many, many faiths together -- there are dozens of Christian churches in membership to the group, of course, but there are also houses of faith who follow Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, Ba'hai, Unitarianism, etc. Each faith contributed a segment of the service and the turnout was fantastic. Very inspirational. I've since attended a few more programs sponsored by this group and am a new person for it. I wish more cities had an effort like this, and were able to build understanding, love and positive actions across the pews, mats and aisles of very different houses of faith instead of trying to simply promote their own missions and evangelism.

At any rate, I ended up losing my keys that night. I was pretty sure I'd left them in the restaurant where Megan and I had dinner... but after stopping by the restaurant (in easy walking distance to the church, so we hadn't moved our cars), they swore they didn't have them. I KNEW the keys weren't at the restaurant where we'd grabbed dessert post-service -- that's where I'd discovered my keys were missing and it would have been easy to find them there.

Megan offered to drive me home. As we left, I called the church to see if anyone had turned in the keys. Of course, it was late on a Tuesday night -- no one was at the church anymore -- and all I could reach was the "emergency" line there... at this Catholic Church... the one you call when, like, a family member is about to die in the middle of the night and you need a priest to administer last rites. Having been raised Catholic, I have the same level of respect for this line as I have for calling 911 -- you just don't do it unless there's an emergency. My keys didn't really count. But I REALLY needed my keys. So I left a message: "Hi... I was at the Thanksgiving service tonight and seem to have lost my keys... so, while this isn't a crisis of faith or anything, it is kind of a crisis in terms of getting into my car and I'd appreciate if someone could get back to me...." I left my number. Megan was laughing so hard that her face was buried in the steering wheel, trying not to be loud enough to be overheard in the church's answering system. She did a u-turn and we headed back.

The church's security guard called me back within minutes. Now I suppose that, if you're a church security guard, you probably don't see a lot of serious action on a day-to-day basis. So by the time we got there, he had thrown open the doors to the church and tried to guess where I might have been sitting, then crawled around on his hands and knees looking around the entire sanctuary. He was ecstatic to see us, and led me all over the church and all of its related buildings -- where I had NEVER been -- trying to see if keys were lying around anywhere. They weren't. He walked me back to Megan's car and tried to remember who the patron saint of lost keys might be. I thanked him. Megan started driving me home again.

On the way home, I made one final call to the restaurant where we'd started the evening. This time, I spoke to the manager. He said he'd give the place one more look. Within five minutes, he called back. "So, you've got a Bush Countdown keychain on these keys, eh? THIS IS AWESOME." I thanked him profusely for finding them. Apparently, the hostess had picked the keys up from our table after Megan and I left, stashed them in her stand, and didn't mention it to anybody. Megan dropped me off and I got Chris to take me back, so I could pick up my car.

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Thanksgiving was enjoyed at Jocelyn's house. She decided it was not appropriate for Chris and I to go to Chen's Bistro, a local Chinese buffet that we typically enjoy on the holiday. But I admit, this was better -- a lot of couples our age, 22 people in all, and Jocelyn and I teamed up to totally win the family game of Cranium. I love that woman!

Right after Thanksgiving, my brother Russell and his fiance Emily came to spend the weekend with me and Chris. Emily and I spent hours walking around the indoor track at the downtown YMCA, and a few hundred bucks at the local Steve & Barry's. We went to the BodyWorlds exhibit (my third time - but it was especially interesting for Emily, as she's in a physical therapy graduate program and currently doing dissections), hit the Bobcats versus Celtics basketball game (the Bobcats lost by one point at literally the very last second and it was HEARTBREAKING) and attended the Panthers versus Saints football game (which was never even close at any second in the game.) Russ and I have only had a few years of our lives to get to know each other -- our family history is just crazy -- but I swear, I feel like I have known him my whole life. He's such a great guy, and I'm proud to be his sister. My dad may have done some controversial and hurtful things in his life, but every day I know I'm lucky to have ALL of my incredible siblings.

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Somewhere in all of this was perhaps my household's biggest accomplishment of 2007. I got pregnant. EEP!!! More on this in a few moments....

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The rest of November and early December saw lots and lots of "tying up loose ends before the year is over" on the job, some NIA classes; an alumnae reception for Agnes Scott College's new president; a Dinosaur Jr. concert in Asheville with Chris, Tim and Drew; a quick overnight visit to Johnson City and shopping in Asheville; a Christmas party at Samantha's; a haircut; a sleepover at Starla's. Lots of activity.

In the midst of all of this, I lost my keys one more time. Two times of misplacing my keys in one month, something I NEVER do. And I started thinking... what's wrong with me? I took a pregnancy test toward the end of November and the results were.... inconclusive. I bought a multi-test pack and kept trying. By Saturday, December 8, I took a more definitive one with Chris standing by. It was positive! I set a doctor's appointment for the very next week.

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At the doctor's office, I was all nerves. Chris seemed calm and collected. Their tests confirmed our suspicions. We were pregnant! But during the pelvic exam, the size of my uterus caused the doctor to do a double take. Was I just carrying big? Was he misreading things? Was I further along than they thought? Giving birth to Godzilla? Carrying twins? They bumped up the ultrasound to be sure. More on the ultrasound in a moment...

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That week, I had lunch with Jocelyn, who put some things in perspective for me.

That weekend, I flew to New York City to see Beth. Typically, those visits are a literal marathon of walking from one end of Manhattan to the other. A veritable orgy of shopping. This time was no exception, but I definitely tired more quickly. In part, this is likely because it was very cold outside -- I wore three layers of shirts under my thick coat, tights under my corduroys, thick socks with boots, a hat, gloves. I'm not used to that kind of weather. But I have no doubt that hormones and preggo energy levels were at play too. At one point in the day I looked at her and said something I've never said before -- "We need to sit down and not move for about 2 hours." We enjoyed a hot chocolate at a nearby Starbucks while dozens of other patrons circled like vultures at the table we fortuitously stumbled upon when we entered... prime real estate on that block. At dinner, I saw Ritwik and met his super-charming and adorable wife, Neha. Beth was a sport and took me to see the Christmas lights at Rockefeller Center as the snow started falling on us. By Sunday, we scaled back our plans to include more sitting inside the house. The previous day had been lovely and sunny -- the next wet and sleeting. We shopped a bit in Newark, near her home; caught a movie; and I watched her make cookies for her Christmas trip to Germany. No matter how physically exhausting our visits might be sometimes, she always has emotionally and mentally restorative powers over me. And I'm so glad we were able to close out the year together.

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As Christmas closed in, Chris and I had a last-night-in-Charlotte dinner with Starla and saw the dogs off to their kennel. We headed back to Johnson City, as is customary, and stayed with friends Amy and Nick. With the holiday falling on Tuesday, we were able to start the weekend off at a slower pace. Amy and I spent an entire day at Carnegie Hotel's Spa, getting facials, massage (which I had to get a doctor's note for, BTW, because they didn't want to touch me until I was at least 12 weeks along in my pregnancy), manicures and pedicures. That night, we enjoyed dinner reservations for 10 at Cafe Lola, surrounded by some of our closest and oldest/longest-running friends. As the days passed, we spent time with Chris's dad, my stepmother, Chris's stepmother and my mom. We'd kept the pregnancy a secret, but began sharing the news a bit during the holiday visits. Everyone was wonderfully supportive.

On Christmas Eve, I saw my youngest sister for the first time in a long time. She is also pregnant -- about 5 months or so along. I had not yet met her ~baby daddy~ and wasn't really looking forward to it... I don't know that she's **ever** dated someone that I like or approve of, because they usually have deeply troubled souls. This guy was no exception -- he's got a minor record and they've both had to get the police involved in a few of their fights together. I won't go into detail -- it's her life and her choices -- but I would have gladly gone through my entire life without meeting this guy. I've sort of been referring to him as my "thug in law", because they aren't married but spend an awful lot of time together and I'm not sure what else to call him. Unfortunately, I did not get my wish and had to meet him on Christmas Eve.

As he sat with my sister on the couch, I got comfortable on the chair beside them and looked him in eye. "I know about your history and I hear about your fights," I said. "I don't like what I hear. I'll do my best to put aside what I know and give you a chance. But if you ever seriously hurt my sister or this child, I will F&#@ you up."

I had to laugh as a I said the last part, so the delivery either sounded extremely evil or extremely ridiculous. Most likely the latter. But I couldn't help myself -- I imagined taking out part of my 401k to finance an ass-kicking for him. Something awesomely "white collar gangsta" likethat. And it made me laugh.

Immediately after this, we all got in the car -- along with my mom -- and went to midnight mass.
Yes, blatant threats, family and church can make for a rather surreal Christmas Eve.
Welcome to a Very Sikora Christmas.

Amy was with me, and mom rode in my car. My sister and thug-in-law drove separately. We met Guinn at the church, and he sat with us. As Amy, mom and I walked to the church, mom asked me if my sister and TIL had acted strangely. "I warned him that you wanted to have a talk with him," mom said. Great, I thought... my mom totally pre-empted my most gangsta-tastic moment of the year. "Yeah," I muttered, "Well, he needs to know that I'm her big sister and I'm not going to put up with his crap."

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We arrived back in Charlotte later that week. On New Year's Eve day, Chris and I returned to the doctor for the ultrasound. The ultrasound tech made a joke about having twins before I hopped up on the table. But there was only one little person growing in there. Projected due date is August 13, so we're a little over 8 weeks along as of the day of this writing. We saw the baby's heartbeat -- this super-rapid thing that would put hummingbirds to shame. We won't be able to tell the gender until another ultrasound later in February. But it was so cool to see this confirmation of what was going on, and be able to make out the head and a few other parts. Our doctor's visits until February will be incredibly boring by comparions -- genetic questionnaires, etc. I'm going to have a very hard time waiting.

New Year's Eve was spent having dinner with some friends at Nakato's, which after a few years has become a bit of a tradition. We then headed to a house party at Jocelyn's -- again, lots of young couples, and I think we're starting to fit in with the group a bit, which is a relief. It's so hard to make good friends as an adult, and it makes me even more appreciative of the enduring friendships with people like Beth and Danny, our friends in Johnson City who have kept in touch, and others.

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I've been INCREDIBLY lucky not to have to deal with much morning sickness. I had one bad day, followed by a single barftastic morning, since returning from our Christmas travels. But not really any more problems before or since. I've found the Vitamin B6 is my friend -- so I'm concentrating on getting just under 100mg into me daily, and I'm fine. Chris found B-Natal lozenges for me, and they are a godsend. I suck on one in the morning as I get out of bed, and take a low-dosage B6 supplement at night with dinner, in addition to my prenatal vitamins, additional folic acid tab, and fatty acids/omegas supplement. Seems to work beautifully!

But I have noticed I now have super-hero-worthy sense of smell. Elevators are a bad thing, as they trap the scents of 10,000 years within their walls. And the day after New Years, when I worked from the office instead of remotely so I could water my plants and tell my boss of my ~condition~, I was a VERY, VERY SAD WOMAN during the lunch hour. Apparently, it was "Take Your Lunch to Work and Eat It At Your Cubicle" day on my floor. Let me tell you -- the smells of tuna fish salad, lasagna, curry, microwave popcorn and a half dozen other foods were NEVER meant to go together. Oh my God. That should have seriously been ruled a crime against nature or something.

I've also had a few cravings and anti-cravings already too. Mostly for healthy foods. Some foods I've enjoyed before have definitely tasted too sweet for me lately, and I have to steer clear of them. But I also really want a Chick-Fil-A chicken biscuit every single morning. So maybe that's not so good.

I've also had some pretty emotional swings. Not often, but often enough. There was this one day where EVERYTHING made me feel like crying.... and then I wanted to cry about feeling like crying because that was upsetting.

I was extremely nervous about telling my boss about being pregnant, but I know I need not have worried. She was happy for me. In addition to the minimal morning sickness blessing I've been given, I'm also INCREDIBLY lucky to work in a pretty family-friendly environment, and my boss is especially supportive -- she's a mom herself, and she knows me well enough to understand that I'm thrilled but that this is also pretty weird territory for me.

So... the secret's out. There are still friends we haven't told who I'll probably wait to email directly until I'm fully out of the first trimester and/or done with the second ultrasound. There are people who I suppose will find out after reading here. But I figure I've stayed quiet long enough.

Now I'm going nuts, buying things like one version of the BeBe Sounds prenatal heart listener, not really for the listener part but because the equipment gives you little ~belly speakers~ on a belt and an adapter so you can play CDs and cassettes for your unborn child & listen along. I know that this little one won't have ears for a little while, and I'll have to be careful to limit play time and volume so as not to disturb him/her, but it's still a pretty cool thought.

And Chris has been the hands down, no contest, best husband ever -- doing lots of research, being very sweet and supportive and patient with me. This kind of thing can't be easy for any man.

Hell, it's definitely not easy on this side either, even though I've been -- as I've said before -- INCREDIBLY lucky.

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This weekend? I forced Chris to run out in the freezing cold to buy a humidifier, because I felt like I was getting a head cold. I had to buy a new hairdryer because my other one sounded more like a drill. We are watching Netflix movies, and I'm cursing the television companies' inability to end the writer's strike so we can get some more interesting stuff on our Tivo.

Tonight, Chris and I watched most of the Democrats' debate in New Hampshire. I swear, if I wasn't pregnant, I would start a drinking game based on how many times Bill Richardson mentions he's negotiated with foreign governments for hostages and/or was the Secretary for Energy. But that amount of alcohol would be truly tragic for any fetus. Damn, I used to think he'd be great... before he proved he's only willing to talk about his resume, and not spend time truly connecting with audiences. I'm still not sure what to think of the Iowa causes.... an Obama vs. Huckabee election could be really interesting.... but....

One thing's for sure: They'll be lots of change ahead in '08!